Distorted thoughts are those thoughts we have that are exaggerated or out of proportion to what is actually going on in our lives and are usually negative in tone. There are various types of distorted thoughts and they can seem confusing, frustrating or even scary but they are very common and nearly all of us will experience them from time to time. These thoughts could include irrational, inflated thoughts or beliefs that distort our perception of reality e.g. failing a single test and convincing ourselves that we will fail the whole course. ‘Should’ statements are another prime example; “I should have” or “I should be”. These types of statements often induce feelings of guilt or shame and put us under enormous pressure.  We may also use these statements in relation to other people e.g. “They should” or “he should” etc. This type of thinking often increases frustration and bitterness within our relationships.  We have no control over what goes through others' minds or over the behaviour of other people, so becoming frustrated over what we think they “should” do actually serves no purpose other than to make us feel bad that people aren’t behaving how we would like them to be.  

Distorted thoughts are often habitual; we do them automatically without even thinking about it, making them really hard to recognise.  These types of thoughts take their toll on our mental health, often fuelling anxiety and leading to increased feelings of stress and depression.  The good news is that our thought patterns can be changed.  We can use empowering, positive affirmations to inspire and uplift our thoughts. Statements such as “I am capable” or “I am worthy” can feel silly to tell ourselves but the more we repeat a positive statement the more likely we are to start to believe it. Unfortunately, many people don’t realise that the power to change their negative thoughts lies within themselves.  Challenging these automatic, negative thoughts influences our emotions and behaviours and forms the basis of several forms of therapy including CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy). 

Recognising that we have these thoughts is the first step. The next is to challenge yourself to find the positive and to speak to yourself kindly, treat yourself as if you were a friend – chances are you would be much kinder to somebody else and please remember that although this blog aims to give advice it does not constitute professional advice, if you are having ongoing, negative thoughts please see your GP or other qualified professional to discuss therapies that may be available to you to help overcome them.