Well, my little blog is not quite so new any more. This fortnight’s edition, the second of four in the winter of 2020 mental health series, marks the 10^th time I have put pen to paper on these pages.

So why does our mind often race, and fixate, about things new, at this time of the year? We’ve already reflected on coping mechanisms for dealing with waves of nostalgia and social pressures in Blog 1 of the Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue series.

We are well aware that the environment outside can often be dark, cold, wet and gloomy around the turn of the year. These are hardly adjectives we’d choose to describe the ideal scene for setting out new life goals. Even though, we often rush, or feel anguish that we don’t feel able to rush towards new things to pack in to our already busy lives during January. I’ve compiled a list of some of the most common new things that we somehow find ourselves magnetised towards at this time of year…

A New Me

This is the quintessential marketing vocab of New Year offers (Reader, we Make Me A Plan marketeers also hold our hands up to this vernacular).

Now, let’s get this straight. I am not anti-newness. You can make positive changes and become different and, as we like to say here at MMAP, feel plantastic. But, especially if you can find yourself struggling with your mental health sometimes, ask yourself, are you seeking a new me because you have unresolved issues with the old, or current you? Do you have visceral, negative reactions about certain aspects of how your life is going? If so, your best focus is on programming yourself to alter your feelings about those aspects.

Say, for example, you feel that your life doesn’t have sufficient momentum at the moment. Make yourself a list of all the things you’ve done in the past four weeks that actually, objectively, any other person would say demonstrated a forwards direction of travel. Add up the total. Set yourself a target of doing one more thing in the coming four weeks.

A New Body

Body pressures can seem inescapable these days and in particular in January. You have to actually work quite hard just to read a magazine or watch a movie where the people featured haven’t been airbrushed, smoothed, operated on in order to achieve the image projected. Remarketing ads stalk you around the internet and try to figure out how you want to change your body and how to monetise this.

One of my favourite life mottos is “Your body is your team-mate.” I have to actively remind myself of this, to keep me grounded and to avoid paranoia catching me by the hand and leading me into a vicious circle of worrying about what my body looks like, what other people think. Sound familiar? A great proactive tactic is to practise appreciating your body. I like to write a letter to myself, in which I encourage me, as if I was looking from an external perspective at the feelings I was experiencing or the situation I was facing. Try this out, be sure to include plenty of encouragement and some ideas for how you can believe in your body more. Sign off, with love from your team-mate.

A New Relationship

This is definitely an area where taking some time to have a proper think about what this would mean for you is even more resonant in wintertime than it is during other seasons.

You’ve just survived the Christmas couple-fest and now you’re in the harsh reality of the new year, you innocently pop to the shops and battalions of doe-eyed teddy bears are standing to attention brandishing candy-pink hearts FOR MY VALENTINE. You probably know quite a few people who are coupled off. Especially if you’re on social media! (Where, did you know, arguments, money worries, differences of opinion between couples NEVER exist).  Understandably, your reaction to this may be to think that a new relationship is for you. It might be!

I often describe the key benefits of being in a relationship as having someone to pay half the council tax bill and to get rid of spiders. Even pseuds have issues balancing their semantics with their romantics.

What are your honest-with-yourself reasons for wanting (or thinking you want) a new relationship? Jot down your reasons as bullet points and use some time to reflect on these. Are you punishing, or over-stretching yourself? Would your February, or March, or June self be better able to get the most out of the dating game? If so, review your points again at this time interval. If no, keep reviewing until you find that pressure is relieved and it really is the right thing for you.

A New Hobby

We want all of Plankind to enjoy rich and fulfilling lives. Hobbies can be a great way of meeting people and challenging your brain and body to adapt to new things. However, don’t fall into the new year trap of thinking a new hobby is the answer to all your problems. Ask yourself; do you want a new hobby because you feel good and know your thrive on learning new things? Or, do you want a new hobby because you aren’t deriving enjoyment from your current pastimes? If, like me, you tend to frame things in a binary worldview, it comes down to one differential: will the new hobby bring more joy to your life? If you’re not sure, or the honest answer is definitely no, then charge your courage pack, change up your current routine, and get the most out of that before you take anything new on.

Next fortnight, I’ll be musing On Something Borrowed. Please get in touch with any particular aspects of this topic you’d like me to write about.

In the meantime,

Happy Planning